Celiac.com 04/04/2023 – Throughout this book (published one chapter per quarter on Celiac.com), we’ve discovered gluten centric practices in various vexing venues that constrain the lives of those dealing with gluten sensitivity. (For your convenience, here are links to previous chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.) In this chapter, we’ll discuss tactics gleaned from those interviewed, as well as an extensive restaurant primer featuring Chef Daniel Carpenter. As we’ve seen in so many illustrations in the book, having a strategy, language, and even a catch phrase (#glutencentric) empowers us to gracefully negotiate our gluten-free lives.
Best Places to Travel
When talking to my respondents, I asked them to tell me about their gluten free lifestyle when traveling. Stella (#21), for example, reports that her experience on Royal Caribbean cruise was successful; that the chefs are trained by the Culinary Institute of America, and know about cross-contamination. She felt safe eating the food they prepared. Lilly (#59) said the people at Disney were very accommodating. Vivian (#51) filled her suitcase before packing off to Ireland – just in case. While there, she discovered that Ireland is heaven for those with celiac disease. She noted, “The Catholic Church in Ireland has a separate line for the gluten free host!” Piper (#43) says, “In Italy, everybody knows what celiac disease is. Everyone is tested in elementary school.” It is reassuring to learn there are entire countries where we are safe to eat with celiac disease.
On the other hand, Asian countries aren’t as safe. Lillian (#58) traveled to Thailand, Cambodia, and Burma on a guided tour. She handed the tour guide a card she brought with her explaining her food allergies. Unfortunately, he had “no clue about food allergies, didn’t know how to read the card, or what the ingredients were.” She notes further, “In Thailand, [wheat containing] soy sauce is in everything.” When attempting to go on a guided all-inclusive trip to Japan, Liza (#68) reports the tour company told her she could not go because it was impossible to ensure the foods would be gluten free. When traveling anywhere, some participants report they freeze food to take on the airplane and then put it in the hotel refrigerator upon arrival. Others use Teflon bags to heat food in toaster ovens. However, when traveling to Asia, meats and many other foods are prohibited upon entry and all food must be declared at customs. Many I interviewed said they simply quit traveling because it was just too risky to rely on other people to prepare every meal.
It’s Better Than Staying Home
This excerpt from Gluten Centric Culture first appeared in the Journal of Gluten Sensitivity Autumn, 2019
Before I was diagnosed, my husband and I traveled quite a bit. After being diagnosed and becoming more sensitive to gluten over time, I traveled less and less, and only to places I knew. But that changed when my husband gave me an “adventure-island hopping tour” to Greece for a graduation present that included two dedicated guides, all meals, and multiple adventures a day with a group of thirteen others. To prepare, we increased our workouts and added regular six-mile walks. We were excited to see Greece in this way! The tour company sent me a form, asking me to disclose food allergies. I investigated common Greek foods to see what they ate and how foods were prepared to get an idea of what might be safe for me to consume. I also watched videos on how foods are prepared and saw that a frequent practice is to grill meats and bread on the same grill. That was worrisome. Rather than bogging them with a list of what I cannot eat, I said that I was allergic to dairy and gluten and the best foods for me to eat were steamed poultry or fish, steamed vegetables, and fruit such as oranges or bananas. Steaming seemed to be the safest suggested cooking method. In interviews for my study, I had learned that Greece was on the top of the list of countries that people reported was the most challenging, so I was a little concerned about going. But I resolved that I wouldn’t let celiac disease force me to stay at home.
I want to experience life! So, whenever I travel, I always carry a 3 oz. pouch of tuna, a Lara bar, and a sealed package of walnuts. (Note: these foods get through TSA in my carry-on every time!) It is amazing how many times that little meal has saved the day. I feel confident knowing I always have food with me. So even though I anticipated finding safe foods in Greece, I packed energy bars, pre-packaged walnuts and almonds, pouches of tuna, dehydrated vegetables, and jerky (easy to reconstitute into soup), just in case. I even brought my favorite chocolate.
The welcome meal was abundant with lovely Greek foods served family style and I realized that nothing on the table was safe for me. Nearly every dish contained gluten, and I feared the salads were prepared on surfaces also used to slice bread. Foods that didn’t contain gluten, contained dairy. Feta cheese, Parmesan, and yogurt were abundant at every meal. A plate of chicken was presented near my plate, apparently for me, but it had cheese on it. I passed it down to the others at the table. Even though I filled out that travel form disclosing my allergies, there was nothing for me to eat at that meal.
I have a great appreciation for the “art” of cooking, for flavor-pairing, for attaining the right mouth feel, and balance of flavors. The Greeks do too. In fact, the word epicurean (pleasure of food and drink) originated in Greece in the 15th century. In Greece, typical evening meals start at 9:00 PM and end around 2:00 AM, served with weak wine so people can eat, drink, and chat throughout the evening. Meals are a social event enjoyed regularly by immediate and extended family and friends. At our meals, every dish was paired with lovely sauces or accompaniments to enhance the flavors and texture. Our guide carefully explained how to eat each dish, whether to stir in the cheese or sauce, or to eat it on the side, what to dip where, and what to pair with what. Wines were selected based on the entrée. The culinary skills demonstrated in the dishes were superior. Food in Greece is revered and celebrated. While my companions were exuberantly eating, I sat hungry, remembering a time before diagnosis when I went through a “Greek Food” phase. I reminisced on the lovely taste combinations of Greek foods. As a guest in their country, the last thing I wanted to do was to suggest alterations in the way they prepared these beautifully balanced meals to accommodate my strict dietary requirements. I didn’t want to insult their “art.” I also didn’t want to come off as a demanding person requiring them to change century-old practices for my needs. Finally, I didn’t want to make a spectacle of myself in the group I’d be spending the next ten days with. I didn’t want to be that needy person. I sat hungry, while my fellow travelers raved about the flavors. I wanted to sneak-eat the pre-packaged walnuts from my purse, but I couldn’t discretely get the darn bag to open.
Lunch the next day featured a similar array. This time, I pre-opened my walnuts and brought a banana. Tour participants noticed and passed various dishes to me. I told them I have food allergies and wanted to stay “safe.” The tour guides also noticed and asked me what I could eat, saying they would order anything I wanted. I said I was fine, that I wasn’t feeling that great and that the banana and walnuts were adequate. I really didn’t feel like exerting my needs and risking insulting anyone. After lunch, the two guides met with me privately and said, “You paid for food on this trip and we want to accommodate your needs. Please tell us how to do that.” I told them I’d think about it and get back to them. I felt overwhelmed with desperation and a little depressed. I was catching a cold from a direct-hit sneeze at the Parthenon, had a low-grade fever, and felt pretty bummed that I may be eating the foods I packed three times a day. The food in my backpack was intended for emergencies, not for every meal. My resolution to lead a normal life was evaporating, too. I was beginning to wonder if going on this trip was a big mistake, and thinking maybe it would be better if I had stayed home. Feelings of “food insecurity” set in, despite my suitcase of food. It was definitely the low-point of the trip, likely magnified by the fever.
To trust people you do not know, whose language you do not speak, who have never heard of celiac disease (and once they have, think it is shocking that anyone can be that sensitive) daunted me. And because we’d be travelling to different places every day, I’d have to trust different cooks to judge my needs as credible. The thought of this, especially when witnessing how much gluten was present in every dish, caused me to have a great deal of anxiety about becoming cross-contaminated, no matter what I ordered. I’ve worked in big kitchens with multiple cooks, and know that getting meals on the table requires “rote cooking” skills, often in a frenzy during peak times. Disrupting that assembly-line rhythm when trying to serve a lot of people causes problems. Old habits kick in, and cooks forget about the special requirements in their haste. Food is “glutened” without a thought because that is the way it is always prepared. It is not necessarily a reflection on the cook—they are simply doing what they do to get hot, tasty food on the table. Knowing this, I’d rather go hungry. Cross-contamination in one meal by just a speck of gluten could ruin my trip and make me miserable for weeks. It was a real dilemma.
For years after being diagnosed, my husband and I didn’t attempt group-trips that required others to prepare my meals. Rather, we’d stick to American cities and finally branched out to Europe once or twice, finding grocery stores to purchase suitable foods. We had lovely picnics in scenic places. Occasionally in restaurants, I would present my “dietary restrictions card” in the language of the country, and to my relief, usually received safe meals. But something about Greece was different. In most countries in Europe, gluten intolerance is well known. Here, it seemed obscure. In fact, I learned that the Celiac Society (a celiac disease awareness and advocacy group) only had a presence in Greece for one year. As a result, celiac disease is virtually “unknown” in Greece.
I thought about the “raw ingredients” contained in the two meals we’d had so far, and determined that zucchini, green beans, potatoes, carrots, chicken, or fish were regular fare. Thinking most restaurants would have those foods I met with the two guides and gave them the card I brought with me explaining my dietary issues and what an ideal meal would be. Though their English was exceptional, I gave them the card in both English and Greek. They asked me what I would ideally like, and I said, “Let’s keep it simple. I’m happy to eat the same foods for lunch and dinner … so a steamed piece of fish or chicken with some zucchini, potato, and a carrot would be fine.” They said, “None of the restaurants have steamers. How about if we ask them to use a clean pan that has been washed free of grains to boil your meals?” I said, “That is a great idea! I would feel comfortable with that.” Over the course of the week, they called each restaurant in advance of our arrival, and I was presented with lovely plates of these foods.
The guides had to explain these “safe practices” to each of the restaurants—a new concept for most of them (though one cook had a sister with celiac disease and understood completely). Many of the cooks wanted to add things to make it taste better, and the guide explained, “No, this is all she can have.” Sometimes, the restaurants didn’t have the foods I requested and the guide went to a grocery store and brought it to the chef. He was very discrete about this and no one on our tour knew he did it. I was deeply touched by his kindness. One time, the guide actually cooked my meal for me! Several of the chefs objected to boiling fish, while others, since they were given a few days notice, sourced a type that could be boiled. I would have suggested grilling it on a “clean” grill using olive oil, but in the interest of keeping it as simple as possible, I stuck with “boiled.” Simplicity seemed the best tactic. And since it was so different from how the chefs typically cooked, I felt safe that old habits wouldn’t kick in to cross-contaminate the foods.
Others on the trip were very cooperative, no longer strangers, but fun travel companions who kept bread crumbs from flying on my plate when we were eating a picnic on a windy day, and who were careful to keep the bread basket away from my plate while sitting at the table. I sat on the end of the table to dodge crumbs, and to have access to the waiter if I needed to – though I didn’t – the guides did all of the interfacing for me. When everyone else stopped for a gelato, the guide handed me a banana or an orange. My gratitude for the meals they prepared for me influenced the way the others viewed my meals – with appreciation that the guides and restaurants were so accommodating and cooperative. The experience forced me to come to terms with my insecurities about speaking up, my food anxiety, and the reality of my limited diet.
I learned a few lessons too. For someone as outspoken about celiac disease, sometimes my own timidity surprises me. I realized that I had allowed myself to fall into the absence of agency ideology by being shy about asserting my needs. As a foreign traveler, I didn’t want to be a bother or make the entire trip focused on my food requirements. An extensive study conducted on adults with celiac disease (Peniamina, Bremmer, Conner, & Mirosa, 2014) found “the main qualities seen as important for coping with allergen-free eating were assertiveness and organizational skills” (p. 943). Assertiveness, they found, is paramount to ensure the person with allergies conveys his or her needs to avoid risk-taking behaviors. I admit that I did not initially assert myself, and it was only because of the guide’s insistence that I was given suitable meals. However, eating is a fact of life, and it comes up at least three times a day, so it has to be dealt with. Assertiveness means being confident enough with yourself to ask for your special needs to be met, or to bring foods for yourself and eat them openly. It doesn’t mean being demanding or rude. It means simply stating the facts and asking for cooperation. Assertiveness would have meant that I initiated that private conversation with the guides, rather than the other way around. Both guides said I was too polite, and that they wanted to help me. They said if I had been demanding, they still would have helped me, but reluctantly. I really didn’t want to be a problem, but in the end, I did have to eat. It feels like walking a tightrope to find that happy medium to be assertive, firm, friendly and respectful, all at the same time. It is a social skill worth practicing.
Even though they accommodated my needs, the meals required supplementation. I was glad I had high-fat bars and nuts with me. Several things contributed to my successful trip. I came home un-contaminated, and didn’t lose much weight! (By contrast, my fellow travelers complained about gaining weight because the food was so fantastic, and isn’t that a sign of a great trip!) I ate my bars and nuts for breakfast. I wouldn’t have come up with the idea of a “boiled meal” on my own, but I worked with the others to find a solution. The guides, who had never heard of celiac disease before, did some research between day one and our meeting. They learned from reading the Internet about safe practices. I am grateful they proposed the “boiled meal” idea. The guides’ cooperation was key to a successful, pleasant trip. The guides also coached me on what would have been a better way to write my card. Based on their suggestions, here is what it now says:
I have celiac disease and am allergic to gluten (wheat, barley, rye, spelt, oats); dairy (cheese, milk, butter, yogurt); coconut, palm, and pine. Would it be possible for me to please have fish or chicken boiled or steamed with vegetables (with no added sauces or condiments) served with potato, beet, turnip, or rice? It is essential that foods prepared for me have not come into contact with gluten-containing grains or dairy. Please boil, pan fry (with olive oil), or steam my food in a pan that has been thoroughly cleaned from any residual grain. Thank you.
Was it better than staying home? YES! I was really proud of myself for having the courage to travel again. My planning coupled with the compassion of the guides provided me with the trip of a lifetime.
The Letter
In addition to a card to hand a food server, it is a great idea to get a letter from your doctor on official letterhead that says you have celiac disease or gluten intolerance, and that you must follow a strict gluten free diet. You never know where you might end up while travelling. For example, if you were checked into a hospital, the medical letter would instruct the staff what to feed you. It is important to ask your doctor to write what you can eat, rather than listing all the foods you cannot eat. For example, you might ask the doctor to write that you should stick to a diet comprised of lean meats, steamed or lightly stir-fried vegetables, fruits, nuts, etc. This way, when taking it to a kitchen, the staff knows what to make for you. I keep a digitized copy of my letter in my purse on a USB drive, and have a printed copy with me whenever I travel. It has also helped me keep food that would have otherwise been tossed as I go through security in airports.
RESTAURANT PRIMER
After explaining her gluten free needs, Ruth (#69) describes how her companion mocked her in front of the server and said, “Give me all of her gluten! Make mine ‘normal’” he said, thereby undermining Ruth’s needs and making her order seem “abnormal.” Should Ruth point this out to her friend? If it is a close friend (or spouse), it might make sense to discuss how his comment undermines the severity of her needs. He may not realize that his joke is having a negative effect. In fact, these scenarios happen frequently when we go out to eat which is what prompted this Restaurant Primer gleaned from the wealth of information shared by study participants. In order to understand the restaurant’s perspective, this section includes insight from a prominent Chef, Daniel Carpenter.
We discussed day-to-day restaurant experiences of interviewees at length in Chapter 5. This section takes us from the “front of the house” where we sit and eat, to the “back of the house” where food is prepared. Every step of the way is fraught with the possibility of errors being made. The following will attempt to provide some guidelines so we feel like we can go out to eat. Nearly everyone I interviewed said that eating in restaurants was their number one issue. Many simply do not feel safe because of worries about food being cross-contaminated in the kitchen. We also dread having a confused or dis-compassionate server. We have every reason to be concerned. A recent study shows that one-third of foods labeled gluten free in restaurants actually contain gluten (Lerner, et al., 2018). This eighteen-month study asked 804 people to carry a portable Nima gluten detection device in various restaurants across the U.S. Five thousand six hundred twenty-four items were tested and 32{5676e3b156b07d12bd9df9fe13d641a85da396026abde11a1ff2d0afc1b3c015} of the foods that were labeled gluten free, contained gluten (Lerner et al., 2018). This is likely because of cross-contaminating practices and because so many foods contain hidden gluten with confusing names. It takes a certain amount of expertise to read labels accurately, and unfortunately many restaurant workers lack this skill.
Ordering Strategies
Not quite as bad as Ruth described above, but never the less, a challenge—here’s a scenario that happens when I dine out with a friend. If I order the salad with no dressing, no cheese, no tortilla strips, and a piece of dry-grilled fish on the top. Inevitably, my companion orders that same salad, but makes different changes to the order. That shows comradery – eating the same foods is a subtle gesture of “togetherness.” But it usually results that I get some unusual combination of the two orders, with toppings I am allergic to. This has happened enough times that I have specific restaurant strategies.
First of all, I try to order last. If the server starts with me, I now say, “Oh, I need another minute…” That way, the server takes everybody else’s orders first. Second, I arrange it so I am sitting on the end seat at the booth, or if at a table, I ask the wait staff person to come over to where I am so I’m not announcing my dietary requirements across the table. Third, I order discretely, so nobody gets the idea to change their order to what I am ordering, thereby causing the same confusion as mentioned above. Using this new strategy, more often, I get a meal I can eat. Let’s hear now from Chef Daniel Carpenter on “front and back of the house strategies.”
Figure 9.1 [Licensed with permission from Cartoon Collections.]
Front of the House – To Restaurant Patrons
For this section, I interviewed Chef Daniel Carpenter from Crooked Tree Culinary who develops restaurant best practices for “back of house” (the kitchen). Insight to how restaurant workers fulfill the needs of the food sensitive helps us to communicate better to each other. Harmonious interaction with front of house workers (the serving staff) often determines success with the back of house fulfillment.
Carpenter says, “I’ve been thinking more about the question of how diners can best present their needs at the point of ordering and it feels as though your message might center both on vocabulary and on self-advocacy. If a diner is fortunate enough to be speaking to a manager (or a seasoned server), the need for self-advocacy should be lower, because they will be interacting with a professional who understands how high the stakes are.” How do we ensure we have self-advocacy? Several suggestions come directly from participants in the study. For example, Hazel (#22) recommends using an app to find “safe” restaurants. She reads the comments of others before deciding which restaurant to choose. After a meal, she also provides feedback for others on the app. Just search for “GF apps.” Also, the Gluten Intolerance Group of North America has certified some restaurants, and a list of those establishments can be found at (gfco.org). Other participants suggest calling the restaurant in advance and speaking directly to the chef to work out the best thing to order. Many said they deliberately go to the restaurant during off-hours so their needs can be tended to with un-hurried staff.
When eating outside of our home, we are empowering many who do not understand the severity of our disease to cook for us. Consider how much time and effort it has taken for us to fully understand the nuances of the disease and the foods that trigger reactions. For many, the list of foods we avoid expands the older we get and longer we live with celiac disease. We can’t reasonably expect a cook in a kitchen who is focusing on getting hot plates of different foods served to worry about the extensive list of foods we cannot eat. They would have to understand all of our allergies, read every label of everything they use, and know what the obscure words mean. Most people simply can’t do that. And consider the foods mentioned in Chapter 8 describing the able-body bias that have hidden gluten such as grocery store rotisserie chickens – it’s complicated! The best advice when ordering is to stick to naturally gluten-free foods like salad, vegetables, fruit, and unprocessed meat. Participants also said they always brought their own tamari or gluten free soy sauce so they knew they had a condiment they liked if ordering steamed rice and vegetables.
When ordering, speak “restaurant talk.” Order something grilled “dry” if you do not want oil. If ordering from a menu, tell the server what you do not want. For example, if the salad’s description says it comes with shredded cheese and croutons, say you do not want the cheese and croutons. In fine restaurants, take a look at the menu to see what meats/proteins and what vegetables are offered. Then close the menu and after explaining what allergies you have, order the meat “dry” and the vegetable “steamed.” Carpenter suggests, “I would recommend including (in a firm but non-confrontational way) how the possible outcome of a failure could look.” You might say, “I have Celiac disease and if I consume gluten, I will become very ill.” Further he recommends not using the term “sensitivity” but rather say “allergy” or even “extreme food allergy.” “Leaving any gray area is a recipe for heartache.” Be very specific and practice what you’ll say beforehand. You might decide to say, “I have an allergy to gluten, (a protein found in barley, rye, oats, wheat, and spelt) and I need to be assured that my food doesn’t contain it.” I don’t advocate leaving the table and seeking out the server for a tête-a-tête because that might disrupt the flow of how the server takes orders.
Carpenter says, “The case where problems might arise is where [restaurant] guests are dealing with a junior server or one who does not, or does not care to, understand the importance of respecting the guests’ needs.” It’s a good idea to “test” servers before ordering a meal, just to see if they are listening. For example, order club soda with lemon before ordering food. If the server has listened and brings lemon (rather than the usual lime garnish with club soda), you feel more confident that they might get your dinner order right. If they don’t bring it with lemon, you know this server is not concerned about special requests. In this case, it makes sense to ask to speak directly with the chef or to the manager when ordering your meal. This is a delicate issue because you rely on the server to bring something safe for you to eat, and the last thing you want to do is to make them angry. Carpenter says, “Unfortunately, many servers do not have a solid relationship with the kitchen or simply are afraid to place modifiers on tickets because cooks often respond with hostility to any changes, especially during busy times. Here is where the self-advocacy comes in; guests (even though it might feel ungraceful) need to escalate to a manager any time there’s even the hint that they are not being heard.” Knowing this, you might say, “My needs are complicated. I’m really sorry, but I wonder if it might make sense for me to speak directly with the chef?” Even if you don’t end up talking with the chef, you’ve still made your point.
When servers and staff try to accommodate your needs, thank them for taking care of you and speak to the manager to thank them for working with people with special needs. It is important to positively reinforce everyone involved.
Back of House – To Restauranteers
Carpenter has worked with many restaurants to ensure special orders are fulfilled properly. He says:
The model I recommend creates a separate pathway in the point-of-sale ordering system whereby tickets that address specific dietary needs are printed on their own color or type of paper [and potentially sent to printers on portions of the line where specific food types are (or are not) prepared]. Of course, none of this means anything unless the server and manager are proactive in receiving and confirming with the guest exactly what needs must be met. That language will vary depending on the type and style of restaurant concept: a fast casual outlet that serves no shellfish will approach the scripting of that conversation differently from how a full-service fine dining restaurant will.
Once the order has been taken and verified with the guest – ideally by the front-of-house manager-on-duty – and the ticket has been sent to the kitchen, I recommend mandating direct verbal confirmation between the front-of-house / manager-on-duty and the back-of-house manager on duty/chef. In my experience, most breakdowns occur when both the dining room and kitchen are very busy. The team is skimming the surface of orders/tickets [not reading them closely]. [Busy] times during most shifts [are] when the team switches into auto-pilot and sometimes makes both major and minor mistakes. Escalating every order containing special dietary needs to the shift leads, in their respective sectors of the operation, provides an invaluable double-safe. The final step is for the front-of-house / manager-on-duty to run the plate personally and to repeat the special need that has been met in the preparation of the dish.
Many operators will resist the notion that the operation needs to come to a screeching halt and that a conversation between front-of-house and back-of-house has to happen, but the stakes here are so high that I insist on that exact sequence of events, even if it’s multiple times/evening and during rush periods. Operators who have experienced the pain of an order slipping through the cracks know just how much effort prevention is worth; those who have yet to experience that unfortunate event often fail to understand that it’s not a matter of if but one of when it will happen to them if they do not take proper measures.
As we know, training and consistency are keys in every aspect of foodservice. Repetition in pre-shift meetings/ongoing training and in new hire seminars is critical to success, especially when it comes to the health and welfare of guests who have dietary needs to be met.
Perhaps this information will help restaurants to develop best practices in their kitchens.
What diet is right for us?
What should we even ask for when ordering in a restaurant, to ensure our safety? Some said they chose to follow diets that completely eliminate bread such as the Paleo diet where one eats meats, above ground vegetables, nuts, and fruit. Many participants told me they were initially diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) and followed the Fermentable Oligosaccharides, Disaccharides, Monosaccharides and Polyols (FODMAP) diet plan, which are names for certain types of carbohydrates that ferment in the body and cause digestive disorders (Nanayakkara, et al., 2016). Avoiding foods with this type of carbohydrate eases these troubles. Lists vary, but according to Nanayakkara, fruits such as bananas, and blueberries are low while apples, pears, and cherries are high. Vegetables such as zucchini, carrots, and green beans are low, while snap peas, mushrooms, and asparagus are high. Grains such as brown rice and gluten free grains are low, while gluten-containing grains are high. Nuts are preferable to beans and alternatives are suggested for dairy. If you are still plagued with gas, constipation, bloating, vomiting, or diarrhea and you are following a gluten free diet, ask your doctor if you should consider the FODMAPs plan. Like everything, it takes trial and diligence to understand what works for you.
Fixed Menu Formal Dinners
If forced into a situation where there is no other alternative other than to sit with a plate of food in front of you that you cannot eat, such as at a banquet or a wedding where no provisions were made for your special needs, an alternative is to “fake eat.” I hate to admit this, and I think wasting food is terrible, but some social norms make it necessary to “pretend eat.” The “look like you are eating” tactic is well-known to anorexics – where you cut up food and hold it on the fork while talking, put it back and pick up another morsel and cut it up into little bits, and make a small pile. I learned about this technique in an Abnormal Psychology book in the discussion on anorexics and thought, this would be useful for those occasions that I cannot control. The food never enters my mouth. I’d rather go hungry than to take a chance on eating foods with ingredients I don’t know, and getting a reaction, and I also don’t want to offend anybody by rejecting the offered food. I use this technique sparingly, and less since I’ve become empowered after my Big Shift, but it is in my arsenal if I’m in a public “vexing venue” because it affords me agency to protect myself in an otherwise dangerous situation.
My husband has my back at organized meals where provisions for my needs are not met. We have a system we call “plate and switch.” If I am with my husband at a business meal, I can usually do the plate and switch maneuver sometime during the meal. Here’s how it works: I sit next to my husband and start off with the “look like you’re eating” tactic. When my co-conspirator has eaten most of his meal, we switch plates. You’d be surprised at how easily this can be done and go unnoticed. Then, I can put my silverware on the plate in the “I am finished” position (and hope that the waiter has read the same etiquette book as I have) and my husband can finish eating my meal. He loves it – he gets two meals, and I love it because it looks like I’ve eaten like everybody else.
Gluten Detection Kits
There are several gluten-detection kits on the market designed to test foods on-the-spot. These can really ease the worry and some of the participants advised using them before consuming restaurant foods. These tests might be acceptable when dining with family and close friends, but it could also become a conversation diverter as dining companions inquire about it. Results occur after approximately three to ten minutes (depending on the test) and food can become cold during the testing process. Even though the dinner table isn’t the ideal testing location, these tests are invaluable to isolate hidden gluten in foods, pharmaceuticals, or cosmetics you use at home.
This chapter has provided a smattering of survival strategies for travelling and eating in restaurants gleaned from the many interviews, and my nearly twenty years of living this lifestyle. The next chapter takes a look at the legal protections offered by the American Disabilities Act, and how changes in it could positively affect the lives of those with celiac disease.
Jean’s Story – May I Have a Fruit Plate, please?
My worst nightmare is going to a banquet where the food is pre-determined – known as a Fixed Menu. You never know what will be on that plate! Usually it is rubbery chicken in some kind of sauce with limp vegetables and dessert with whipped cream that won’t lose its shape in 10 years. Knowing that most of the time, there are pre-made fruit plates in the back for people on special diets, I usually flag down the server for my table and ask if one is available.
Sometimes this backfires, when the food is served and the server bellows “WHO WANTED THE FRUIT PLATE?” Or, when everybody else is served and the fruit plate hasn’t found its way to the table and everyone is waiting on you to be served before eating. Very embarrassing. This always prompts the question “Are you on a special diet?” I say yes, and look down, hoping it won’t go further.
But there’s always one who probes, and when you finally tell them, they inevitably say, “Oh my Aunt Sally is on a gluten-free diet. She bloats up like a dead fish when she eats gluten, what happens to you?” How do you politely divert the conversation? I have a number of conversation starters (How about those [fill in the favorite football team]? Did you see [fill in favorite streaming series] last night? What was the last book you read? Can you believe the weather we’re having?)
One evening, I was at a dinner meeting in banquet room in a nice downtown hotel to discuss funding for a start-up. I quietly summoned the server and asked if they had a fruit plate, without dairy (since they often come with cottage cheese or yogurt). He said they had a few back there, and he would get one for me. I thanked him, and rejoined the conversation at the table. Servers arrived with huge trays with plates covered with metal lids. They were presented to each of the people around the table and the lids were removed with a flare. The waiter forgot about my request and huffed off with the plate he had just served when I reminded him of the fruit plate.
Underneath the metal lids, guests found rubbery stuffed chicken, with a mysterious white sauce, limp broccoli, and parsley as a garnish. After a while, my fruit plate finally arrived. I was hungry. It was beautiful and had slices of cantaloupe, honeydew, strawberries, blueberries, a bunch of red grapes and wedges of orange. The others at my table eyed my colorful fruit plate enviously. I ate the cantaloupe and honeydew. I looked at the grapes – how does one eat grapes still on the stem at a dinner? I decided since they were still on the stem, to pick it up and pluck them off with my fingers. The grapes felt grainy to my fingertips. I looked more closely at them, and noticed dirt on them. They were not washed! I wondered if I could discretely wash them in my water glass… and decided there was no way to do that without looking really weird, and calling attention to myself. I put them back on my plate.
I continued participating in the conversation around the table about fund raising for entrepreneurial ventures and cut into a very large red strawberry. Out popped a surprised, live green worm! He was about an inch and a half long and a little chubby. He had little green antennas and beady black eyes. He looked around – wondering what happened to his home! I obviously couldn’t eat the strawberry – and really didn’t want anyone at the table to notice the worm. I had lost my appetite anyway, and started feeling sorry about ruining the worm’s home and blowing his cover.
I pretended to eat the rest of the meal, and gave the plate back to the waiter as soon as he came around. The next month, when I attended the same dinner for the same group, and ordered the same fruit plate, the strawberries were sliced. Sometimes, even with all of our conversations, precautions, and strategies, things just don’t work out. It’s part of living with food sensitivities.
Discussion Questions:
What are your most successful travel strategies?
What restaurant strategies do you deploy in order to avoid consuming gluten?
References in Chapter 9
Carpenter, Chef Daniel. Crooked Tree Culinary. https://www.linkedin.com/in/danielkcarpenter
Lerner, B., Vo., L., Yates, S., Rundle, A., Green, P., Lebwoh, B. (2018). Gluten Contamination of Restaurant food: Analysis of Crowd-Sourced Data. The American Journal of Gastroenterology, 113, S658-S658. doi: no doi.
Back to: Gluten-Centric Culture: Chapter 8 – Empowering Language
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